As our world cruises into the virtual realm, I have a persistent interest in the tangible nature of analog living. There is a connection that occurs when engaging with the analog world that is missing in our digital lives.

I began this project intentionally representing our interconnectedness by using physical media, specifically polaroid pack film. The tactile quality of film photography - the grain, the color, and the imperfections - remind us of ourselves and the world in which we live. As I began working with this long expired film, I found I had to acquiesce to it. My experiments proved that the film still had worth and beauty bound within it, if only someone allowed it to speak. In order to do this I had to learn how the film worked and how to work with the problems the film was experiencing, including prints not ejecting, negatives sticking together, and other mechanical complications. Once I taught myself how to recover would-be lost prints, I committed to allowing the film to have a voice. I decided to surrender to the film and not control the outcome. This meant that I did not know how the developing chemical would spread or how artifacts (bright spots, color shifts, chemical markings, etc.) would present on the final image. I only composed the shot and used what I had learned to rescue this aged film.

I took the surrender theme as a personal journey of self discovery. Never one to be in front of the camera, I resigned to the discomfort of being observed and made myself the subject matter. I used the camera to witness myself during intimate mundane moments. At first I was extremely self-consciousness, but gradually this dissolved. I found peaceful acceptance, eventually welcoming my own imperfections into the self-portraits, just as I welcomed those of the film.

In the end what emerges is a series with unpredictable presence. The prints, left to their own development, exhaled a beauty of purposefulness that honors imperfection. I found my own tender connection with the film and when I listened quietly the film had a great deal to say about age, usefulness, flaws, acceptance, patience, and reciprocity. I never imagined the lessons to be garnered from this inanimate material. If only we could remain connected while also allowing each other a gracious abandon, a compassionate freedom to be ourselves.